I’m listening to A Very Special Christmas with my wife in the wee hours of Saturday morning. It is one of the real gems—fitting, since it’s in a jewel case, after all—from a box of assorted CDs I purchased on eBay for $37.
That brought the total price per CD well under 50 cents apiece—a real steal, considering that at their peak, many of these titles would easily have gone for $10 apiece on the low end, ranging up to $20 or more on the high end. Retail value? Probably almost $1,000—and that’s probably being extremely conservative.
Not all of the titles have been winners. There was the Nickelback CD, Silver Side Up, for example.
Now, I’m not a Nickelback hater as was the trend online for many years. I listened to my fair share of “How You Remind Me” back in my high school days. I may have even gone to the extent of putting it on a mix CD. Regardless, it got some heavy play on the old iPod—you know, the original in all its blue screen and track wheel glory.
Anyway—the actual CD didn’t seem to make its way into the box. Just the case. There are jokes to be made about this being a blessing in disguise, it being Nickelback and all. But I most definitely cannot deal with an empty Nickelback CD case. So CD case, enjoy your free trip to the nearest landfill, please and thank you. 🚮
But A Very Special Christmas caught my eye in particular because of the album artwork, done by the unmistakeable Keith Haring—one of my favorite visual artists who has partially inspired my own drawing style. It features a faceless stick figure emanating rays of light from its head while holding a smaller, featureless stick figure—probably baby Jesus, taking all into consideration, all drawn in gold strokes on a nice cherry-red background. The art direction for the album—back in the late 1980s, when such things were still given enough consideration to warrant an art director—was handled by Frank Olinsky of Manhattan Design, a New York City graphic design collective active from ’79 to ’91 and known for designing the original MTV logo along with the “moon man” prominently featured on the cable channel’s MTV Video Music Awards (VMAs).
One of the many reasons why I stopped streaming music is because it strips the work of art of its unique qualities—for example, the thoughtful art design extending from the booklet to the case artwork to the CD itself. On Spotify and similar platforms, it’s just one little thumbnail among millions—and you can listen to any of them immediately. That was once something novel and amazing to me. But over time, I came to realize that it really cheapens and lessens the weight and impact of individual titles when they’re just one among a sea of countless others.
What strikes me, too, is how much credit is given explicitly in the liner notes, for each track, to each person involved in the making of each one. For example, I can tell you exactly who produced The Pretenders‘ version of “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” (Jimmy Iovine and Bob Clearmountain, btw) along with the four separate recording studios involved in its production: one in New York, the rest based in London. Hell, they even gave Steve Boyer credit for “assisting.” Don’t try looking for such details on your favorite streaming service—you won’t find them.
According to the Wiki article about the album, it’s actually the 19th best-selling Christmas album in the United States, and it launched a series including many titles which ran all the way until 2013. I’m surprised I never heard of it until it arrived on my doorstep in a random assortment of CDs. It sold over 2.5 million copies and was such a success that the follow-up album, A Very Special Christmas 2, ended up being the 21st best-selling album with sales of around 2.2 million.
This is the very album that launched Run DMC‘s Christmas rap song, “Christmas in Hollis,” to fame. (The song also samples the original version of another track featured on the album, “Back Door Santa,” that I found generally repulsive.)
As for the music itself? It’s mostly spot-on…mostly. (I’m side-eyeing you right now, Bon Jovi.) The opener is probably one of the most energetic, joy-filled renditions of “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” I’ve ever heard, performed by The Pointer Sisters. An excellent way to kick things off, for sure.
The second track is “Winter Wonderland” by Eurythmics. The sparse, vocals-only intro serves as a great follow-up and palate cleanser after the at-times raucous opener. Eurythmics hit a nice midtempo stride, reverby 80s drums and slap-plinked bass line tastefully accompanying Annie Lennox‘s soulful voice.
Bringing the heat to her cover of “Do You Hear What I Hear,” Whitney Houston needs no introduction on track three. It’s a true shame we lost her powerful voice so long before her time. She delivers the typical vocal powerhouse performance that was her hallmark. She really knew how to grab the microphone and open up her soul to us.
Bruce Springsteen offers up a soundboard recording from a live show he performed some time in the early ’80s at Nassau Coliseum in Uniondale, NY. I must say, it’s a pretty flawless live performance that does well to capture The Boss in all his young vigor in a live setting, which I think is where he performed his best. The crowd energy, the electric organ and sax—it’s got a lot of heart. Funny story: Hanson first introduced me to this song on their late-’90s Christmas album, Snowed In. It was the opening track. (Zack was my favorite; I so badly wanted to learn how to drum at the time because of him.)
The Pretenders bring the energy WAY down to a slow waltz accompanied by the dramatic vocal stylings of Chrissy Hynde on track five, “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas.” They managed to transform this little ditty into the theme song for seasonal affective disorder. Seriously—I’ve never heard a more downtrodden-sounding Christmas track. Step out and have a smoke while they finish up…you’re good.
Our boy John Cougar “Small Town” Mellencamp gets the party jumping back off, stoking The Pretenders’ dying embers into a ragin’ Cajun-themed cover of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” Which—can we take a moment to appreciate how awful the subject matter at its core is? How confusing for a tender little mind to witness their mom engaging in an intimate act with someone who’s not their father. And then to sing about it as gleefully as The Coug does in this version? Definitely one of those cases where the song’s lyrics amount to little more than mouth sounds set to a groovy beat. Y’know what I mean?
Sting follows up with a choral rendition of “Gabriel’s Message,” which I don’t think I’d heard before listening to this album. Leave it to Sting to pull the deep cut out of his back pocket. And he does a wonderful job with it. Another somber palate cleanser.
After that, it’s Run DMC with their now-infamous Christmas-themed hip hop track, “Christmas In Hollis.” Co-produced by Steve Ett and Rick Rubin. And speaking of Rubin—I’ve restarted his book recently and plan to make it all the way through this time. I find it deeply insightful and inspiring and I recommend it to any human being with even the most remote interest in creative things and ways and means and people. If you’re interested, I’ve written previously about how that book made a huge impact on me and prompted my spiritual awakening.
U2 then makes an appearance with “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)” and all I can honestly say about this track is that it’s very much a U2 song and if you enjoy the music of U2 then this should not disappoint.
Madonna brings a coy cover of Eartha Kitt’s “Santa Baby,” one of those Christmas songs which blends extreme materialistic yearning—an American pastime—with a vaguely seductive air. Basically, she’s treating Santa like her wealthy sugar daddy. Madonna plays the character well—almost to the point of satire. Fans of Betty Boop will enjoy this performance.
Bob Seger and The Silver Bullet Band clock in a hard day’s work with their common man’s take on “The Little Drummer Boy.” It’s another chill-out, calm-down song. Which can only mean…
Yup! Time to rock out with your…good friend Bryan Adams and his sensible rock ‘n’ roll cover of “Run Rudolph Run.” It’s a fine, if forgettable song. But it’s really overshadowed by the atrocity following it.
That would be “Back Door Santa,” perhaps the most awkwardly, overtly sexual song of the bunch. If anything can be said in John Francis Bongiovi Jr.’s defense, it’s that he didn’t write the song—it’s a 1968 song originally written by Clarence Carter. I’ve linked the original below in case you’re curious what that one sounded like.
Here’s an excerpt from the lyrics: “I’ll keep your little girls happy/While your boys are out to play.” Um, I don’t need to expand on why that’s so disturbing, right? It’s the late ’80s, dude, get with the program and get out of here, Bon Jovi. You weirdo freaks.
Alison Moyet brings another slow, deep cut which stands out among the album’s downtempo numbers. The vocal production and layering on “The Coventry Carol” is nicely done. Gives it a real chilly atmosphere—very dark and gothic, almost more like a track by The Cure.
The legendary Stevie Nicks closes out the album with a lovely cover of “Silent Night,” taking one of the most cliché Christmas songs and making it pleasant with some warm backing vocals, guitar, and piano.
This is one of the better Christmas albums out there. And, as the title subtly suggests, it was a production of the Special Olympics—so, at least on its face, it was for a good cause. Despite a few lulls, overall the album does a great job at capturing the elusive and much-talked-about “Christmas spirit” as interpreted by a diverse group of recording artists.
As kind of a cherry on top of it all, the liner notes state that “Jimmy Iovine’s work on this album was done in memory of his dad, Vincent ‘Jimmy’ Iovine. January 4, 1922-January 12, 1985.” Aww… That’s simultaneously sweet and sad. Jimmy’s dad would be proud of the great collection of music his son helped bring together for people like me to tell you about today.
That concludes my review. This album is available on streaming…But if you can, get your hands on a CD copy. Trust me—it makes the experience so much sweeter.
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